🌍 Study Abroad
5 Hard Truths of Studying Abroad People Keep From Friends and Family
Updated 2026/10/16
Jason’s Memo
I asked on Instagram what people didn’t dare tell friends and family while applying abroad. Here’s what 200+ votes showed:
- Keeping quiet: 43% didn’t tell friends they were going abroad. They worried other people’s opinions would sway them, and didn’t want to disappoint anyone if they didn’t get in.
- Language tests: 39% passed on the first try, 29% took two or three attempts, 16% took four or five, and another 16% took six or more.
- Mental strain: after you submit, you still have to wait for results. With rolling admissions, a quick answer comes within a month; a slow one can take more than six months.
- Paying for it: 23% funded their studies themselves, 33% split the cost with family, and 44% were supported by family.
A while ago I asked my followers on Instagram about “things you didn’t dare tell friends and family while studying abroad.” Today I want to share the numbers and the stories!
Not Telling Friends About the Decision to Study Abroad
Out of 200+ votes, almost half (43%) said they “didn’t” tell friends about their decision to study abroad! One person said they didn’t want to announce it too early in case pointless opinions swayed them. Another said they kept their applications secret so that nobody would be disappointed if they didn’t get in, and an admission would be a nice surprise!
I applied for a Deferred MBA in secret myself, and only told my family! Before applying, all kinds of Taiwanese admissions agencies chipped away at my confidence. They said nobody had ever pulled it off and I shouldn’t waste my time. But once I make up my mind, I go all in, so I put other people’s opinions aside and started digging into everything about Deferred MBAs. After several rejections, I got interview invitations from Virginia Darden & Columbia. During that period I put in more than 100 hours, at least four hours a day, on MBA research and essay prep. That gave me a full picture of the schools and of myself, so I walked into the interviews with “blind confidence.” My attitude was to believe in myself and not worry about the outcome, and in the end I got the good news I’d hoped for!
Language Test Scores That Won’t Come Through
Out of 200+ votes, 39% passed on the first try! 29% succeeded after two or three attempts, 16% took four or five, and the last 16% took six or more. IELTS, TOEFL, GMAT and GRE are the biggest hurdles in a study-abroad application. Without enough prep time or a solid foundation, it’s hard to get a score you’re happy with on the first try in a short time! Many schools and programs also set minimum section scores, and plenty of people have to retake a test because one section fell short.
I’m a serial IELTS retaker myself! One section never reached the minimum most schools required, and my score got worse with each of my three attempts. When I applied for the Deferred MBA, I found out the schools had no section minimums, and I luckily escaped the endless loop.
Anxiety and Mental Strain
Many people said that while they were applying, nobody around them understood that anxious feeling! Some said everything blew up at once and they simply broke down. Applying abroad brings a lot of anxiety and stress. On top of the early prep and the tests, once you submit, you face an endless wait for offers and results. With rolling admissions, if you’re lucky you’ll hear within a month; if not, you might wait more than six months!
The Financial Burden
Tuition and test fees are a constant worry for most people. 👉🏻 This article breaks down the cost of studying abroad and how Joseph funded his own way to the Warwick MSBA! In this poll, 23% paid for their studies themselves, 33% split the cost with their family, and 44% were supported by their family.
Not Telling Family About the Decision to Study Abroad
This one is less common, but quite a few people didn’t tell their family about studying abroad, for all sorts of reasons! Here are some of the stories I collected:
- Her dad didn’t want her to go abroad, so she never told him she was applying. She planned to tell him once she was admitted!
- He was afraid his parents’ expectations would crush him before he’d fully made up his mind, so his message to parents everywhere is: just quietly support us!
- His dad wanted him to go to Japan, his mom wanted HKUST, and he wanted London. So on the day of his interview with a Japanese university, he spent the day having fun in Taipei and then lied that he’d been rejected
- Didn’t want to go to Dad’s alma mater, so planned to photoshop a rejection letter when results came out
Final Thoughts
I hope you can all find friends or family you trust to support you through the application process and ease the mental load. If you’re planning to apply abroad, leave yourself extra time so language score requirements don’t weigh on you, and so you have room to retake the test for a higher score. To be safe, start preparing for your language test six months before applications open! If you also need a standardized test such as the GMAT or GRE, set aside even more time!
Jason’s Takeaway
I was a serial IELTS retaker too, with one section that never met the minimum. Start preparing for your language test six months before applications open, so you have time to retake it.
Jason, admitted to Columbia Business School’s MBA at 22 and founder of OfferLand.cc
Next step: Look up your target schools’ minimum section scores, then count back six months from the date applications open to set your prep start date.
